Back

Mum admits her panic over not loving her second child as much as her first

Mums are loving her honesty

By Jessica Frost

January 15 2019

Having a second child brings a flood of new emotions and one mummy-blogger is being praised for being honest about her fears of adding another baby to her young family.

Louise Pentland, a British blogger with more than 2.4m followers on Instagram, is used to sharing happy snippets of her life with her husband, two children and pets.

But it was when she shared a very open and raw post reflecting on the impending birth of her second child that supporters rushed to her page to share their
appreciation for her brave honesty.

In a flashback post that featured Louise pregnant with her second daughter, Pearl, at a maternity shoot alongside her young daughter, Darcy, she shared a lengthy caption about her fears of the last days of her and her daughter being a twosome.

Flashback Friday to a photo I've not shared on Instagram (I know, madness!) and taken by the incredibly talented @lindablacker. . I'm thinking a lot about this time last year at the moment. Pearl was due Jan 1st so everyday was potentially my last as the 'Mummy & Darcy Team'. . I was really anxious that I wouldn't be able to love Pearl the same way I love Darcy, who feels just so so special to me. I didn't want to talk about that much because I felt pregnant women were supposed to instantly gush with love for their growing babe and I was still fearful. Anyone else felt that? . Pearl was cosy in there and didn't pop out until the 14th and mine and Darcy's team got a brand new member. Thankfully, a mother's heart is pretty cool because it doesn't half with a new child but doubles instead. . Essentially, and I hope you don't mind the bluntness here- it's ok to be scared sh*tless that you might be a crap mum, your heart will surprise you. Ahhh. . Please do feel free to share your fears or support other women in the comments but of course be respectful and kind- you never know what kind of day someone is having xxx 👶🏼👧🏼🥰

She admitted, “I was feeling very anxious that I wouldn’t be able to love Pearl the same way I love Darcy, who feels just so so special to me.”

“I didn’t want to talk about that much because I felt pregnant women were supposed to instantly gush with love for their growing babe and I was still fearful,” she continued.

“Pearl was cosy in there and didn’t pop out until the 14th and mine and Darcy’s team got a brand new member. Thankfully, a mother’s heart is pretty cool because it doesn’t half with a new child but doubles instead.”

Happy First Birthday Pearl! My last post was a little more about what an amazing birth I had after an anxious pregnancy and I hope that helped some people. This one though is just a bubble of joy and cuteness because look at this baby would you please? . Pearl, like her name, is a gem! She is my most active baby, loving to crawl almost faster than I can walk and loving a challenge like the stairs or a climbing frame! Big food loves are all the B's - beef, bananas and bread and she's always happy to try something new (and spit it out again if she's not pleased haha!). . Pearl's had a big first year! She's been on several flights, met Mickey Mouse, is an active member of several baby groups and she likes to dance- she's basically cooler than me already dammit! . She's sociable and loving, she laughs mostly for her Daddy, her best friend is the dog who lives next door and she absolutely lights up when her big sister sits down to play with her. . Thanks to you Pearlygirl, we're a family of four and my heart has never felt so full. Here's to another incredible year my beautiful girl. 👶🏼🌸✨🎀

Louise went on to share a rather candid message to fellow mothers who might be feeling similar anxieties about motherhood.

“Essentially, and I hope you don’t mind the bluntness here – it’s ok to be scared sh*tless that you might be a crap mum, your heart will surprise you.”

The Instagram post got close to 140k likes and 556 comments from other parents and followers showing their support for her honesty. Many commenters opened up to share their own experiences after Louise championed them to do so.

One woman wrote, “I hated my pregnancy, I felt no bond with my baby and I was terrified to say it out loud. I was unbelievably grateful to be pregnant, she was a baby we’d spent so long trying for, but the second she was placed on my chest my world completely changed, in that moment I have never loved anything/anyone anymore.”

Some commenters found the post particularly relatable as they’re currently experiencing similar feelings.

One follower posted, “I am feeling these feelings so much and I feel awful. My daughter is my life and it’s terrifying me that I will mess up when my second arrives. I’m so glad I read this to know I’m not the only one feeling it.”

The post even attracted comments from Dads including one father who shared, “As a father I think it’s important to highlight that I also had the same feelings when my wife was expecting our second child.

“There is four years between my two boys. That was four years of having my eldest all to ourselves, four years of focusing all our love and attention on our special little boy. Then all of a sudden another baby is due and I didn’t know how I was going to divide that love. The idea that my love & attention would be taken away from my eldest made me feel guilty!”

It goes to show that honesty is always the best policy as you never know who might be feeling similarly to you.